Dale and Veronica’s 4-Part Process For Fighting, Forgiving, and Forgetting

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Episode Summary

In a Christian marriage, discussions and disagreements are normal but fighting is sinful. So how do Christian couples resolve conflict according to Scripture? Find out in this episode of Ultimate Marriage.

Some couples should win an Academy Award for their incredible ability to hide their fights from their church community. But the reality is this, Christian couples fight—and while the fighting is real, so is the sin. In the moment of strife, many spouses throw their biblical beliefs out the window and instead, react how someone would who has not made a commitment to Christ. In this episode, Veronica and I discuss our personal four-part, biblical process on how to keep the faith in the midst of conflict.

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In addition to our teaching time, we answer two critical questions from our listening audience. You can view those questions at the bottom of this page and hear our responses at the closing of this episode. Also, if you have a question you would like answered on the show, please email us at support@ultimatemarriage.com

Worthy Quotes From This Episode

  • Disagreements and discussions are normal. Fighting is sinful.
  • Fighting occurs when there are two prideful people in a room.
  • As Christians spouses, we are to care more about the person than the problem.
  • You can’t argue with a humble person.
  • There’s a massive difference between saying sorry and being repentant.
  • Defensiveness is often a personal declaration to NOT grow.
  • Withholding forgiveness is denying your own need to be forgiven.
  • If you can’t walk in the spirit, then ask to walk away.

Scripture From This Episode

  • 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
  • Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.”
  • Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”
  • Proverbs 9 “Rebuke a wise man and he will love you for it. But a fool despises correction.”
  • Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
  • Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
  • Ephesians 4:32 “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Questions Answered In This Episode

  • How important is it really to have a marriage mentor?
  • Is it a husband’s job to teach his wife Scripture, or should she be zealous in her own walk, and seek clarification and expounding from him?

This Week’s Memory Verse

  • Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.”

Lastly, did anything stand out in this show? Do you have any comments, additions or questions? Let us know about them in the comments below.

Written By Dale Partridge
Dale is the co-founder and Editor in Chief at Ultimate Marriage. He is best known as a thought leader on biblical theology, family, and church practice. Currently, Dale is finishing his graduate studies at Western Seminary.
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