Five Biblical Steps For Handling Holiday Family Conflict

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Episode Summary

The holidays can be days of drudgery for a spouse who isn’t accepted or appreciated by your extended family. As Christians, what are we supposed to do when our extended families don’t treat our spouse with the respect and honor that they deserve? Find out in this episode of Ultimate Marriage.

Many marriages have been stressed, destabilized or downright destroyed by a disrespectful or boundary-ignoring in-law, sibling, or friend. In this episode, Dale and Veronica turn to Scripture to solve this mess and offer biblical principles to heal the pain of extended family conflict.

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In addition to our teaching time, we usually answer one-two critical questions from our listening audience. If we had a Q&A in this episode you can view those questions at the bottom of this page and hear our responses at the closing of this episode. Also, if you have a question you would like answered on the show, please email us at support@ultimatemarriage.com.

Worthy Quotes From This Episode

  • When the Bible says we leave our father and mother, it’s really saying that we reprioritize our lives. The moment you get married, you “cleave” to your spouse. Your spouse comes first. That’s the law of priority.
  • Your wedding day is a declaration to everyone that the old covenant with your parents is dead and a new covenant relationship has been born.
  • Family leadership is a costly position if you don’t take charge someone else will.
  • When you continue to stand your ground, other people may get their feelings hurt because they couldn’t make you do what they wanted you to do.
  • It’s not wise to honor others’ self-centeredness, which is what’s happening when they get their feelings hurt because they wanted their agenda instead of honoring yours.
  • People often think that the “real” ministry is outside of the home but the Bible tells us that it is inside the home.
  • God’s calling will never compromise your family.

Scripture From This Episode

  • Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
  • Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”
  • Proverbs 15:1 says “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”
  • Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you”
  • Titus 2:3-5 “The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
  • Deuteronomy 6:4-6 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

Questions Answered In This Episode

  • I have a full-time job and a new baby. I don’t want to go back to work but all my friends are encouraging me to. It doesn’t feel right and I don’t know why. Can you help?

This Week’s Memory Verse

  • Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”

Lastly, did anything stand out in this show? Do you have any comments, additions or questions? Let us know about them in the comments below.

Written By Dale Partridge
Dale is the co-founder and Editor in Chief at Ultimate Marriage. He is best known as a thought leader on biblical theology, family, and church practice. Currently, Dale is finishing his graduate studies at Western Seminary.
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