How Long Should A Couple Date Before They Get Engaged?

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Episode Summary

Every few episodes, we tackle a few questions from our devoted listeners. In this episode, Dale and Veronica carefully navigate two hard-hitting issues with biblical wisdom.

In this episode, we answer two questions: The first is from a wife wondering if her church-going husband is truly Christian and the second is addressing a single woman’s inquiry regarding the appropriate length of time before a couple should get engaged. Hear Dale and Veronica’s answers as they offer wisdom from the Scriptures.

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In addition to our teaching time, we usually answer one-two critical questions from our listening audience. If we had a Q&A in this episode you can view those questions at the bottom of this page and hear our responses at the closing of this episode. Also, if you have a question you would like answered on the show, please email us at support@ultimatemarriage.com.

Worthy Quotes From This Episode

  • “The church has become so naive in the West that if someone simply calls themselves Christian everyone believes it. We do not examine fruit. We do not test the spirits. We do not measure their lives against Scripture. It is a practice that would get Christians killed in persecuted countries.”
  • A man cannot bring his family to a place he has not gone himself.
  • How comfortable are you with kissing another person’s spouse? If you’re not, then don’t kiss someone until you know they will be your spouse.
  • The three main reasons men pro-long marriage is fear, selfishness, and ignorance of God’s desire for marriage.

Scripture From This Episode

  • Acts 9:26-30 “And when he had come to Jerusalem, he attempted to join the disciples. And they were all afraid of him, for they did not believe that he was a disciple. 27 But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles and declared to them how on the road he had seen the Lord, who spoke to him, and how at Damascus he had preached boldly in the name of Jesus. 28 So he went in and out among them at Jerusalem, preaching boldly in the name of the Lord. 29 And he spoke and disputed against the Hellenists. But they were seeking to kill him. 30 And when the brothers learned this, they brought him down to Caesarea and sent him off to Tarsus.”
  • 1 Corinthians 7:10-16 “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. 12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”
  • John 8:31-32 “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
  • Matthew 7:15-20 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them.”
  • 1 John 4:1-3 “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2 By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, 3 and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God.”
  • 1 John 2:3-5 “Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. 4 He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 5 But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him.”
  • 1 Corinthians 6:18: “Flee from sexual immorality.”
  • 1 Timothy 5:1-2 “Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.”

Questions Answered In This Episode

  • I have been married for 10 years to my husband, I struggle with letting him lead because I question his ability to lead since he doesn’t seem to be following God. He attends church with myself and our children but other than that, I don’t see any other “godly” things in his life.  What do I do? I know I need to let him lead, and I want to, I just get scared.
  • My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and not sure when it’s appropriate to expect an engagement. We, like many young Christian couples, struggle to remain pure and feel that prolonging marriage is making that harder.

This Week’s Memory Verse

  • 1 Timothy 5:1-2 “Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.”

Lastly, did anything stand out in this show? Do you have any comments, additions or questions? Let us know about them in the comments below.

Written By Dale Partridge
Dale is the co-founder and Editor in Chief at Ultimate Marriage. He is best known as a thought leader on biblical theology, family, and church practice. Currently, Dale is finishing his graduate studies at Western Seminary.
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